Smile........... I lovetoo smile when i'm happy or sad. But.... my true self is I HATE TOO SMILE. ITS STUPID.ITS UGLY AND ITS RIDICULOUS. What a joke! When I'm smiling i feel happy and i feel relaxing. My classmate always says that " You're crazy!" " Y u laugh?!" (sign) For telling the truth, I smile and i laugh because i'm actually relising my stress. I promised to myself that I'm not going to cry anymore cause I don't want anyone 2 know about my bitterness and sadness. I just don't anyone to be worried especialy my parents. If anyone knows thats i'm like that i'm worried that my parents would say that I got problem and stuff.

That is y when I'm thinking of something bitter i will always smile n laugh suddenly. Its totally ridiculous ( i know). But no one could understands me. I'm consider a very lucky girl because i've friends who understand me and always make me laugh. Hahahaha. I really miss my friends so much although its only the first day of the holiday.Anyway ..........................................


Happy Holidays u guys I'll always remember u. Always be happy. No matter what happens.

Be cool my friend. I'll always sing for u .!!!!!! -.-

Hi!! Its been a long time seen I've opened my blog.Let me see wat should i write. Well there's nothing special lately except for exams,exams,and more exams. Pretty irritating! Tomorrow is my math exam and i'm starting to feel so worried now. My math is always been the weakest subject and i just wish that this time I must get and A for Math. I've been always studying math for this few days and i feel so stress. Lucky, tomorrow's paper is only math(paper 2). But...... I'm still so worry! What if I cannot pass? What if I fail? Everyone will be laughing at me !!!!!!!!!!!! I'm seriously thinking to much. What will i do?! What will I do ?! It's panic time !!!! PANIC TIME!!!!!

[ clear throat]
Okay that is totally weird.....
I'm seriously getting weirder and weirder.Forget about that. Tomorrow is the last day of PMR and also the last for my final exam ( Frasa 1 only).There will be another exam for me on 10 till 14 November and I bet that I'll not get a good results. I seriously need to change my attitude. Too much of negative thinking. Hahaha!!! Anyway who cares.

Kawaii!!!

Life really sucks a lot ! I've been actually accusted to put 2 pictures of half naked boys in my blog.....!!! Now two of my friends are busy reading a horrible and scary manga called UZUMAKI!!!! OMG discusting totally discuting!! You guys if u dare to read this manga i'll bet that you will be thinking of this manga till the end.1oo% !!!!!!!!! I usually prefer to adventure type of manga and a bit romance manga.Its tottlay much better then horror manga. seriously, at least 'Jigoku Shoujo' and Ayakashi is much more better then Uzumaki !!!!! I so dizzy right now. Last saturday, i was hit in the head 4 times. first my friend, Victor then my sister ,then my mom, then my aunt and yesterday someone hit me AGAIN.

I declared 5th of October 'My feelings day' or maybe 'The day I express my feelings.' I know its ridiculous but seriously today i've been thinking too much about ridiculous and silly stuff.Today i really need to express all pains and stress right now. Okay, lets start from the every beginning. I'm a teenager who really likes to be famous and smart. I'm seriously jealous of people who are smarter than me and i wish that i could be with them and be smart like them. I've been thinking about this matter since when i started schooling in this school. I faced many challenges in studies and more and i wanted to be smart like my friends that is why i don't like this school.It's scary.It's stressful and it's painful.I just really wish that my mom had never transfered me in this school since the beginning. I've been changing school for about 3 times and each time I change to a new school i felt worried and scared.

......... I'm so sleepy right now! My mom scolded because i haven't finished my history folio yet and i was forced to do it until its done! I'm so lonely right now.

All this questions are dancing in my mind now and i just can't handle it ! It's too pain and too much. The person who closed to me had just gone to somewhere else. [Haru's talk right now] I've two friend now. Who should i pick Kamui or Ryuki senpai? One is my old friend and the other one is the person that i just know. Both of them are my friends.Ahhhh!!! Who would i choose? This is so difficult! I just wanna dump this feeling away but i can't because .... i ... i.....

[ this is not how many character looks like]

[ well that is my story.My really own story from my anime story of 'When my destind lies in you. eveyone who read my book they will understand it. This is a special edition of Haru's diary.(hahahahahaha just joking (showed tongue)]

This is fun lets do it again!

After spending time with my family and relatives in P.D, i'm finally back home realxing, watching and DOING HOMEWORK. At first I told my arents that I don't wish to go but my parents told me that I have to follow cause my cousins are there and so I ended up going with them. It was fun cause my cousins are there,hot guys are there (my just joking) and delicious foods are there.

Yummy!! I spent most of my time swimming,walking along the beach and doing my math exercise. It was relaxing at first but later I started thinking about my final exam. This year, i saw a lot of lovers spending in P.D.My mom told me maybe their having honeymoon here. i was like o......kay thats ...... nice. (sweat)-.-

At night, i enjoy myself with buffet which is actually for 2 person only. The buffet was held beside the beach and that was kinda nice. That place was actually kinda suitable for couple cause the scenary and the feeling there was romantic.Grill lamb,chicken and fish were delicious except when my cousin (yuuta) who took a little too much.After that, i went for a walk near at the beach alone. I felt relaxing but my mind was still thinking about exams and stuff which is related to work and schools.

...................................... well, i really don'teven know what to write or say right now but..... I just hope and wish that my results are much more better then the last exam. Oh ya i just forgot.
[ Clear throat] I wish a very good luck to all my form 3 friends for PMR. Hope yo guys will get 7A's !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck!!!

Look at this!

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